Agree to Disagree and Let Go!

As parents our responsibility is to raise our children to be caring, loving, strong and self-sufficient adults. That is the purpose. We pray, seek guidance from our Bible, pastors, physicians and teachers, to ensure we’re doing the best for their entire well-being. Then the day comes when we must let go. This is the day we’ve prepared for, but also the day we fear most.

How can we protect them if they are not in our view? Oh, I struggle with these moments still. My children are 22, 19 and 8. They are all residents of our home, however, they are adult children. They have jobs and vehicles.

Only yesterday I had another life-course in letting go. My 19-year old purchased a new car in mid-January. My husband and I decided he could drive locally, but we did not want him driving to Raleigh until he had at least three months of driving under his belt. My son honored the request a couple times. Yesterday, he challenged me. He constantly argued that he had driven safety and he wanted me to trust him. I tried explaining this was not a matter of trust, this was a matter of protection. I persisted, telling him he was not ready.

My son equally persisted. Finally, I let go. Unfortunately, my children have always challenged us, asked a reason why before obeying. I honestly don’t know where they get this quality from. Of course, in a heartbeat, my husband would say, YOU! They get that from YOU!

Anyway, after letting go of battling with my son, I spoke to my husband. I asked, “Are you ok with this?” He said, “Yes. We have to allow him to do this.” 

OK, I’m still not sure about that. Did I have to allow him? Yes, I have rode in the car with my son. He handles his new car well, but still I believed he needed more time — more experience. 

This morning I’m thankful to report Chris made it home safe and sound, and before curfew, I might add. Smiling big, the first thing he said when he returned was, “See Mom, you doubted me.” I replied, “No, this was not about trust, this was about my protection.”

I guess I will always offer words of guidance and protection to our children. That will never cease.  God never stops speaking to us through His word, or within our hearts. He warns us. His job as our heavenly Father is to protect us. 

There comes a point when God will let us go. There are times we may make the wrong decision. In His grace and mercy, He provides protection. That’s what I had to seek in order to find peace while Chris drove yesterday. I prayed, we had dinner, and my 8-year old and I watched The Flash on Netflix.

Yesterday, I learned sometimes the only and best protection I can provide for my children is prayer. God will handle all the rest. Thank you Father.

How about you? Can you share a parenting moment when you had to agree to disagree and let go?

Until We Meet Again,

Brook Lynn

Brook Lynn Dorcent
Author/Coach/Inspirational Speaker

Host: JUST WRITE REVIEW
Founder/Facilitator: JUST WRITE! - A Club for Writers
Missing the Mark (Novel One)
Pressing Toward the Mark (Novel Two)
Forgetting Betrayal (Novel Three)
Above All (Novel Four)
His Wedding Vow (A Novel) Coming 2016
Spirit Over Will (Devotional)

OUTStanding (Memoir/Teen Guide)
www.brooklynndorcent.com
Why Not...Read for Love

Seeing The Value In It All

I made a commitment to blog every Sunday. Until Friday, I had nothing. I was slightly concerned that I wouldn’t have anything of value to share. Still, I believed I would find something to blog about. It’s amazing when you make a commitment to the gifts God has given us; He will ensure that we have all we need.

On Friday, He allowed me to bump into wisdom and I saw the value in it all.

I leave work at 5:00 pm. It was around 4:20 and it had not been a very eventful day. For that, I was grateful. On my way to my office after catching up on some filing, I saw a retired employee and his spouse. We normally see this retiree every Friday. He’s a stamp collector and comes to acquire all the stamps we’ve received. As the years have progressed, he moves a little slower with the help of a cane. Nevertheless, he’s faithful.

Seeing me in the hall, he politely introduced me to his wife. I remembered her from his retirement party. Then, she shared such admirable sentiments about her husband. Her words moved her to the point of tears. The memory stayed with me. I believe no one knows us like our spouses do. They’ve truly seen, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yet, a faithful spouse still sees the value in us.

His wife said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.” It had been at least 12 years since that retirement party. I replied, “That is fine.” I also shared why she was so memorable to me.

Well…that sparked a conversation between the two of us. As we went on and on, her husband walked off in search of his stamps. She talked, and I mainly listened. She shared they had been married 56 years. She talked about his current health challenges, but it was not his problem alone. Oh no, they were a team, in it together, and would get through it.

She not only shared about how much she cared about her spouse, she shared how she had neglected her own health and urged me not to do that. Years ago, although she felt fine, medical testing revealed a problem with her heart. Well since she had no symptoms, she went about her daily routine, going to a ball game, grocery shopping, preparing dinner, and cleaning the kitchen. She gently touched my arm as she emphasized, “You know us women, we never stop.”

That night, life for her almost came to an abrupt end. After her routine, she began to feel like she was going under. Since the doctor had given her Nitroglycerin, she managed to gather enough strength to find her purse and take one. It had been too late, however. She struggled into a room where her husband sat at the computer and plopped into a chair. Her last words before her eyes rolled out of sight were, “I feel awful.”

Later, she found herself being prepped for open-heart surgery.

As I listened, I thought about my health. I come from a family where my mother and grandmother both have had heart attacks.  For no reason at all, I stopped taking my daily aspirin.

Shifting my thoughts, I focused on her again. We could have talked for hours more. She spoke of family and said, “God has a plan. We don’t know the time or day. However, I’d love to see what would become of my youngest grandchild.”

That is a hope we both share. I don’t have grandchildren yet, but what a joy that would be! When she left me, I felt refreshed.

Just as her husband’s pastime is collecting stamps, mine is writing. No matter how many books I sell, my heart’s desire is to just write. I also saw the value in appreciating my spouse and family all the more. The best way to do all those things; is to value my health. On my way home that evening, I ran into the pharmacy and purchased my aspirin. I’m taking them again.

I was grateful I bumped into wisdom on Friday. How about you?  Please share your unexpected encounters and the value in it all. I’d love to hear from you.

Until We Meet Again,

Brook Lynn

Brook Lynn Dorcent

Author/Coach/Inspirational Speaker

Founder/Facilitator: JUST WRITE! - A Club for Writers
HOST: THE JUST WRITE REVIEW (YouTube)

Missing the Mark (Novel One)

Pressing Toward the Mark (Novel Two)

Forgetting Betrayal (Novel Three)

Above All (Novel Four)

His Wedding Vow (A Novel) Coming Soon

Spirit Over Will (Devotional)

OUTStanding (Memoir/Teen Guide)

www.brooklynndorcent.com

Why Not...Read for Love